When the Old You Doesn’t Fit Anymore

What am I still holding onto simply because it used to fit?

Yesterday, I decided to clean out my closet.

You know how this goes.

You start with the innocent thought, I’m just going to go through a few things.

And suddenly your entire wardrobe is in a giant pile on the bed.

Half the clothes don’t fit.

Half of them don’t feel like you anymore.

And you’re standing there thinking, Well, this was a terrible idea because now I have nothing to wear.

For a brief moment, you consider doing what every responsible adult has done at least once:

Shoving everything back in the closet and pretending this whole experiment never happened. 😄

I just wanted a nap but I kept going.

And now I have EIGHT trash bags of clothes leaving my house.

Eight.

Apparently, I wasn’t just cleaning out my closet.

Sometimes Growth Looks Like a Mess

Standing there looking at those bags, I started thinking about how much growth can feel exactly like this.

There’s a point where the old has been pulled out, examined, and released, but the new hasn’t completely taken shape yet.

The emotional patterns you’ve carried for years start to loosen.

The identities you once wore begin to fall away.

The ways of being that once made sense don’t quite fit the life you’re creating anymore.

And for a little while, you’re standing in the middle of it all thinking:

Now what?

I think this is one of the most uncomfortable places in life.

The space between who you used to be and who you’re becoming.

The old version of you doesn’t quite fit anymore, but the new version hasn’t fully arrived yet.

It can feel messy. Wobbly.

Uncertain.

Sometimes even a little scary.

What If Nothing Has Gone Wrong?

Our minds love certainty.

We want the plan.

We want the next step.

We want to know exactly where all of this is going.

So when we find ourselves in that in-between space, it’s easy to assume something has gone wrong.

Maybe I made the wrong decision.

Maybe I should go back.

Maybe I need to figure this out faster.

Maybe I should just shove everything back in the proverbial closet and close the door. 😉

But what if nothing has gone wrong?

What if this is simply what becoming looks like?

Because there is something incredibly powerful about the unknown.

It’s the place where we stop automatically repeating who we’ve been and begin making room for who we’re becoming.

Making Room for What’s Next

I’ve been in this space more times than I can count.

And every time, I notice the same thing.

The more pressure I put on myself to have it all figured out, the harder it feels.

But when I soften…

When I give myself grace and compassion instead of urgency…

When I stop demanding that I know exactly what comes next…

Something begins to unfold.

Not because I forced it.

Because I made room for it.

And maybe that’s what growth asks of us sometimes.

Not to immediately know what comes next.

Not to have the perfect plan.

Not to rush to fill every newly empty space.

But to be willing to release what no longer fits.

So Here’s the Question I’m Sitting With

What am I still holding onto simply because it used to fit?

A belief?

A relationship?

A role?

An expectation?

A version of success?

An identity you’ve outgrown?

A way of showing up that once kept you safe but no longer feels like who you are?

Sometimes we keep things simply because they’re familiar.

But familiar and aligned aren’t always the same thing.

Maybe there’s something in your life that isn’t wrong or bad.

It just doesn’t fit anymore.

And maybe you don’t need to know exactly what will replace it before you’re willing to let it go.

You can give yourself some grace.

You can stay curious about what wants to emerge.

You can trust the space you’re creating.

You are not lost.

You are becoming.

The middle can feel messy, but sometimes the mess is simply evidence that you’re making room for something new.

And apparently, sometimes becoming comes with eight trash bags. 😂✨

With love,

Jessica